Age (in)appropriate questions

I love the questions I get to look forward to at my age. Somehow I always end up in situations where people are comfortable enough asking what they feel are age appropriate questions.

Sure there's the occasional person who asks me how school is going even though I graduated 5 (count them FIVE) years ago. I'm going to assume it's because I still look 20 and not because I can't pass for 28 in most social circles. But I'm really referring to the other questions.

Lets see... there's the 'Are you married?' No. 'How is your dating life?' No comment. 'Have you bought any real estate?' Nope. 'Are you investing?' In what exactly... my shoe collection? 'Roth IRA?' Hmmm, never heard of that designer. And by the time they are done I have an entire body ache that feels like a hangover followed by 5 year old's punch to the lady parts.

And then I tell them I'm 28 and newly single and prefer not to invest in real estate until I'm married. And here it comes... The reassuring pat on my shoulder followed by 'Don't worry. You have plenty of time.' I know I do! Unless there's some race I didn't know about? Sure I'm well aware of my biological clock, since we're on the subject, but I wasn't aware that everybody else was keeping time for me.

People, let me say this once... this is my choice. If I wanted to be married, I could've jumped on board that ship when I had the opportunities. I choose the life that I have now because I have a supporting set of parents who pushed me to go after what I wanted in life and to never settle whether it be an education or travel or a new challenge or my relationships. And thank the Lord in heaven that they don't pressure me into settling down.

Sure, being single has been an adjustment. I recently heard it described as putting on a pair of new prescription glasses. At first, it's a headache and you hate them but wear them because you know you need them. And over time your eyes adjust and you see life in a whole new light. Damn, my therapist is good! So while I am just barely getting to like these new glasses (to steal her metaphor), I'd really rather everyone keep the questions simple and sweet. 'How are you?' I'm great. 'Would you like another glass of wine?' Yes. 'I have an extrememly handsome doctor friend, would you like to meet him?' God yes.

That's it. In exactly that order. I'm not asking for too much, am I?