If you don't know what FB stands for in this post, I can't help you.

I might lose a couple FB friends on this one but that's ok because I'm pretty sure if I croaked tomorrow, 310 friends would not come to my funeral.

I've noticed a few things since the FB wildfire has swept through my family and friends. One being that the vomiting of forwards into my inbox has been replaced by people's streams of consciousness on my news feed.

While it's nice to stay in the loop on the haps so when I do see people I can ask "hey how is your sick aunt doing" it just seems that some of my dear FB friends have gotten a little out of control on the postings.

I decided first before I put the proverbial foot in mouth I would do a little inventory on my own FB postings. Generally I can say that I mostly report on some opinion that I think others can relate to or might find surprising about me... or something to solicit a reaction such as a photo. Not just posting because I'm waiting at jiffy lube and feel like letting everyone know that their magazine selection sucks.

That being said I think it's worth an occasional reminder of what is generally not FB worthy. In other words, I'll just say what we all think sometimes but never say.  Also worth noting I'm not calling out anyone in particular, so calm down and finish reading before you block me.

First off, posting should never be done when home sick from work. If you're healthy enough to be updating your status from home, you're healthy enough to be working from home too. Your job is not that hard.

It's a safe bet to assume that at any given point of the day 99% of us are either tired or hungry. No shocker there. Guess what? I'm inhaling. Now? I'm exhaling.

I can respect the fact that you know 12 languages. Let's just stick to english or spanglish because I don't read sanskrit. It goes without saying that **Gh3tTo** speak is not a language, but all abbreviations are fair game... obv.

We should also remember our employers and blabbermouth coworkers know how to use FB and if you friend them, don't complain about your job or you might find yourself without one. If I hired you and knew you hated work, I'd fire you.

Thank God for the "hide" option or I'd have to block all farmers and gamers and who knows what else.

I'm a grammar nazi. I can't help it, but you can. So let's just get this over with. If you passed the 4th grade you should know the difference between their, there, and they're, and to vs. too. Here's one for you. I'm going to enjoy their party if there is cake. My friends said they're going to enjoy it too. Any questions?

Moving on.

Cussing on my FB comments or my wall is a no-no. My mother is on FB so let's keep it PG13, y'all.

Lastly, anyone who frequents FB daily is way too ADD to read your huge paragraph status update. Give me a link or a photo and a catchy line to hook me in. Like any good writer I need you to market your novel.

There, now that I got that outta my system, many thanks to my FB friends for all the birthday love last week.  Even if I don't talk to many of you on a regular, it's nice to know you care enough to post! Special thanks to the snail mail folks... you know who you are.